Imagine praying and hearing this: Thank you for calling my Fathers House. Please select one of the four options:
Press 1 for requests
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquires

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call on God in Prayer? If you'd like to speak with:
Gabriel...........................press 1
Michael.........................press 2
For any other angel.....press 3
If you'd like King David to sing a psalm, Press 6

To find out if your relative is here, Enter His/Her Date of Death and listen for the list that follows.

For Reservations in my Father's House, Press the letters John Followed by the numbers 316.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age the earth, and where noah's Ark is, wait until you get here.

Our Computers show that you have called once today already, Please hang up immediately. This office is closed for the week end. Please call again Monday.

Thank God that you can't call him too often!!! You only need to ring once, God Hears You! Because of Jesus Christ You never get a busy signal. God takes each call and knows the caller/

Author Unknown